The German issue of Men’s Health claims to have a set of rules that turn every guy into a womanizer. They dug up a guy called Lennie, who seems to have all the answers.
Men’s Health, who have an article called “How to buy shoes on the internet“ on top of their website, make an obvious mistake: They have asked men for the rules.
How is that ever going to answer anything about women?!
Well, guys, I’m going to do what magicians can only do fully disguised in masks and gloves:
I’m going to tell the secrets of my sex. To you exclusively.
So, lets have a look at these rules. Five today, four tomorrow.
1. ‘You should look good – but not too good.’
Lennie says: buy clothes that fit you, even when they’re ridiculously expensive, don’t stress yourself about going to the gym – take it easy.
I say: Guys, you might have your own style, but isn’t that kind of the style your mum picked for you or you picked up from other guys?
My advice: Take your girl or at least a female friend with you when you go shopping. They are the ones who read magazines all the time and admire male Calvin Klein models – who by the way definitely go to the gym.
2. ‘You mustn’t be too successful to be successful with women.’
Lennie says: Even though I have a good job, I’m also a chef’s assistant and I play the guitar in small clubs. That usually impresses women.
I say: The fact that women can be impressed with lasagne and a guitar is as old as time. But why is that, Lennie?
Not because you’re so down to earth, but because your seemingly different. Women want men to be successful, but we also want them to not be stereotypical.
So the reason why showing a woman a stamp collection might have worked as a hook-up-line back in the days is that this shows an interest in a non-stereotypical topic.
Men, please be good at your jobs – but cultivate your non-stereotypical hobbies, too.
3. ‘You needn’t be rich, but have everything in reach.’
Lennie says: I can borrow a friend’s car whenever, sometimes even a boat.
I say: What is it with you men? Have you never gotten overMadonna’s ‘Material Girl‘-Song?
Yes, we enjoy a trip in a car or on a boat with you – even if it’s borrowed (!!).
But that is because in a car or on a boat there is very little space for you to get away. You have to talk to us, look us in the eye even. That’s what we enjoy.
But I guess, once you understood that, you can have that anywhere else, too…
4. ‘You mustn’t be famous, rather be a ‘local hero’.
Lennie says: You needn’t be a star at a famous football team, playing in the local league is enough. And once a girl’s fantasies become realistic, she’ll go for the guy who works at the concert hall, not the singer.
I say: Girls, are you laughing yet?
Yes, authorities and uniforms can be sexy.
But being a ‘local hero’ is not about fame, it’s about being a good person, about giving back, about respect and hard work.
Standing behind a bar counter doesn’t necessarily do that trick…
5. ‘You mustn’t do everything for her, only those things that you’re good at.’
Lennie says: I’m looking for women who don’t need a ‘Suggardaddy’. I’m good at making surprising little compliments and gifts that sometimes gets me taken to the next best toilet as a ‘Thank you’.
The only 100% save way to make a woman want to stay with you for a long time is to do whatever you can to show you love and respect her. (Yes, I know that’s cheesy.)
But: You are allowed to expect the same from her in return.
Basically, I have one advice: Put all that funny guy business aside for a second and actually talk to a girl/ woman. Ever tried that?
But, let’s not forget that Lennie has four more male rules on womanizing to share with us tomorrow.