I have a problem with hairdressers: I fear them as much as the dentist. Why? Because they have the überhuman power to make you look amazing or really, really bad. Unfortunately in my case it is more often the latter.
Originally, I wanted to rant here about the horrible Hob salon in Mill Hill, London where they are unfriendly, use dirty brushes and hairdryers, let you walk around in that ridiculous cape for ages and where dust lies on the styling products. (DON’T GO THERE!)
Instead, I will make a general point about their species and how they never fail to grief me.
First, for you to judge whether it’s probably my own fault, my tactics when encountering them in their natural environment.
Be friendly and precise
I am overly friendly, smile at them, desperately wanting them to like me so that they don’t decide to cut a whole into my fringe.
Then I tell them what I want. Two, three times with different words, even indicating the length of hair I allow them to take off with my fingers.
Sometimes I even show them pictures of the haircut I’ve been chasing ever since I climbed on a hairdressing stool.
During the whole process I keep my mouth shut about all the little things I hate. The fact that I have hair all over my woolen sweater or the fact that repeatedly fluffing my hair up gives me a greasy out-of-bed-look.
Even though I hate my hair being pulled with hundreds of brushes and my ears being almost chopped off with their combs (I mean ‘hello?!’ – human anatomy?) I never flinch just to not upset them.
But somehow I always end up with electrical hair, smiling sourly because – of course – they always, always, always cut off too much – and that’s not me being picky.
So what to do?
Nick Davis, a hairdresser of 24 years, says that being realistic is important as his comb is not a magic wand. Sorry, Nick, it might not be magical having split ends cut off, but it’s not rocket science either…
Patricia Farrell Voldberg thinks that you should treat your hairdresser as a team-player.
She alsobelieves you should ask questions like “What do you think of this style for me?” or “Do I have the face shape for this cut?” to make them get involved.
Seriously? I mean that somehow is my tactic anyway, but shouldn’t that kind of be their job?
But Patricia also has another tip: If you are not sure about the hairdresser’s suggestions, take time to think it over.
If only that was so easy once they started cutting…
I don’t think there will ever be a time when I don’t fret about going to the hairdresser.
And all these tips only tell me that without wooing them as much as possible, I will probably look worse.
So, please, hairdressers, if you read this: be kind to me and everyone who happens to sit in front of your mirror.
And I promise, the first hairdresser who makes me feel calm, beautiful, understood, valued and utterly happy will get a huge praising blog entry.
But that hairdresser has yet to be found…
Read on beauty and make-overs here.